


Life Tainted With Death

by mordredslullabies



Series: Death [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mordredslullabies/pseuds/mordredslullabies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana dies of a terminal illness, leaving her brother Arthur distraught and her best friend Mordred not knowing what to do with himself. Thankfully they have help in putting the pieces of their life back together again. Modern AU, pairings are Arthur/Gwen and Merlin/Mordred.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Tainted With Death

**Author's Note:**

> I know there are flaws with this story--I'm not completely happy with it--so feedback would be very much appreciated!

Arthur rubbed at his bleary eyes and blinked furiously, trying to fight off the sleep begging to claim him. He sighed heavily before going back to scanning the documents before his eyes.

A hand touched the small of his back and he turned around too look at Gwen, his wife. “Arthur, you must go to sleep sometime.”

“Can’t,” he grunted. “Tomorrow is her funeral. I’m too worried to sleep.”

Gwen smiled softly at him. “Arthur, I know how much you cared about her. We all did. But there’s nothing you can do about her death now. Getting some sleep will help clear your mind, ease the pain a little. Please, Arthur. For me.”

He studied the concern in his wife’s eyes and nodded. He took her hand in his and got up from the desk he was at, allowing her to drag him into their bed. His arms encircled her waist and their kisses were frantic, all consuming, as they shed their clothes and indulged themselves in a grief filled love.

 

Merlin banged the door of his flat shut and slammed the keys onto his kitchen counter. He searched the flat for Mordred, his boyfriend, worried that he would be sitting on the couch, the telly on but his eyes not focused on the mindless comedy in front of him. He breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t find him there.

He walked out of the living room and into his bedroom, changing out of his work clothes and into something casual and comfortable. He could hear the shower running from behind the closed door of his bathroom and headed towards the door in order to check up on Mordred.

He peeled back the shower curtain a little and panicked at the sight of his boyfriend, slumped on the floor of the tub, knees to his chest, ice cold water pouring over him in waves.

Merlin immediately shut the water off and wrapped a towel around Mordred’s body, hugging the boy close to him. Mordred was shuddering under his warmth, his breath coming out in gasps.

“Mordred,” Merlin whispered brokenly. “You can’t keep going on like this. I love you too much to lose you to this.”

Mordred closed his eyes, burrowed himself deeper into Merlin’s warmth.

“I loved her too, you know. I get what you’re going through. It’s hard on us all. But you’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere. Talk to me, Mordred. Okay?”

Mordred nodded his head. He stayed wrapped up until his shivering ceased.

“Let’s go to bed, okay?”

Mordred nodded again and Merlin led them to their bed, covered them up with the thick sheets, and warmed his boyfriend up with hot kisses trailed up and down his body, trying to ease the pain that was buried deep within.

 

Arthur was the first person in line at the wake to say goodbye to the girl who was so dear to him. He was eager to get it over with. He did not want to let anyone but his wife see him break down, shatter so grievously over such a monumental event. He did not like to appear weak to his friends who looked to him for guidance.

He looked down at the girl in the coffin, her waxen cheeks rosy with pink blush, her dark hair brushed until it was gleaming and pulled back into a braid. She was wearing her favourite silver dress. She looked so peaceful, as if we were only in a slumber, instead of joining the masses among the dead.

Arthur swallowed hard and cleared his throat before speaking. “Sister, I hope you can forgive me for not being able to save your life. You do not know how much it pains me that I live and you are dead. I would give up my life in a heartbeat if that meant you could breathe again. I know we fought a lot, but that’s what siblings do. I hope you knew how much I cared for you. I love you, Morgana. Sweet dreams, little sister.”

He touched her cold cheek and shuddered as the feel of death seeped into his bones. He turned away from his sister, blinking furiously while trying to control the onslaught of emotions.

His best friends—Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elyan—all clapped him on the back as he walked back and offered him condolences. He saw two figures seated in the pews of the church. He realised it was Merlin, holding tight to the hand of his boyfriend Mordred, trying to give the boy strength. Merlin looked up at Arthur as he walked by, and there was sadness in the deep blue. Arthur nodded his head and offered a small smile of apology before walking out the church doors, climbing into the front seat of his car, and breaking down into a cacophony of tears.

 

Mordred was the last person to say goodbye to Morgana. He had known her as child. She had looked after her with a maternal compassion when he had found himself orphaned and taught him many things he would never forget. In some ways, she had become his best friend. And now she, along with everyone he had ever loved, had left him.

He sat like a stone through the wake, not really seeing anything, the words sliding in one ear and out the other. The only thing that reminded him he was alive was Merlin gently squeezing his hand every so often. He waited as one by one all of Morgana’s closest companions said their goodbyes. And when he was alone at last, just him alone in the church, did he rise from his pew and approach the open casket.

Mordred felt like puking at the sight of how serene she looked. How could someone so beautiful, so gentle, have succumbed to death so easily? It sickened him that she was lying still while murdering thieves still continued to plunder through cities so carelessly.

He breathed heavily for a few moments, memorising Morgana’s stilted features, before uttering his goodbyes.

“I…I know that I am nothing special. You were far older than me, far wiser, far kinder, and a far better person than I will ever be. I don’t know why you wasted your breath and time on me, but I’m so very glad you did, Morgana. I would not have survived without your grace. It was you who gave me the one person I know will never desert me. I wanted to be there, to see you be happy one day too, because if anyone deserved happiness, Morgana, it was you. I am so sorry you never got to experience true love or see another sunset or take another one of your long strolls, singing those songs you always loved. I will take what you taught me and put it to good use. I will never forget your friendship, Morgana, and you will always be missed.”

He stared at her for a few more seconds, frozen tears sliding down his cheeks, before turning his back on the girl who saved him and falling into the arms of the man who gave him the greatest gift of all.

 

Years passed. Arthur would nod to Mordred when he saw him, Mordred would smile back, but neither one sat down to reminisce on the girl who had introduced them to each other. The grief grew less over the years, the crippling pain their hearts dulled, but Arthur never forgot his sister, and Mordred never forgot his best friend.  


They simply moved forward and lived as she would have wanted them to live, without abandon and holding fast to the true things that mattered in the cruel world. Arthur and Mordred turned out okay in the end, but it was Morgana who had given them that strength, and that’s something they cherished until their last days on earth.


End file.
